Saturday, 19 February 2011

you WANT to get married..ADMIT it

Once again Facebook comes up trumps. My friend (yes an actual friend) linked an article by some chick. This woman is of the opinion that all other women want to get married and just haven't admitted it to themselves, she seems to also think that the fact that you're an unwed woman, is not really a choice, more the result of things you're doing wrong.

Hmmmmmmm.....

1.You're an angry bitch. You may not know it but you are, Kim Kardashian smiles and giggles, and men want someone to be nice to them because female anger scares them.
* This chick needs to GTFOH. Because we only see the celebrity smile and wiggle on camera means she's not angry? Really?She probably wakes up with a face as full of make as her ass is full of silicone. I don't think I'm overly intelligent, I don't believe myself stupid, and I know I'm not angry.Piss me off and you'll see angry, but I do not walk around mad at the world. But is this woman really saying that in order to land a husband and keep him, we have to keep out temper in check if he does something worthy of it. What just rub his back when you've been working all day and he can't lift a finger to help? Really? Am I being punked?

2.You're shallow. You are supposed to be looking for a man of character but you don't have one because you're not actually looking for his character, and men of great character are all over the place waiting patiently for you to stop looking for money and attractiveness.
* So apparently all men of good character are poor and ugly. And thinking or wanting someone attractive and not broke, is what teen girls think about and men of character don't want to marry teen girls...(they probably only want to sleep with them 18-19 of course).

3.You're a SLUTPUPPY.----this is the one that got me-- So if you're trying to get married (cause we all are) you cannot have sex outside of a committed relationship, that makes you a slut and after a certain age recreational sex is like a drug and as with many drugs it doesn't stay recreational for long. This is due to (here comes the science) "oxytocin" a bonding hormone released when women nurse babies and orgasm. Because of this you can't have casual sex, you will "bond" with the man.

* Can I ask one question .....Mommies out there, do you orgasm when you breastfeed? Cause apparently it's one and the same on some level.
Anyway. Let me set something straight. I have had casual sex, it doesn't make me a slutpuppy any more than eating in McDonalds and enjoying it, means that I cannot appreciate a filet mignon. It also doesn't mean that I will have to walk into Mickey Dees every day and order a happy meal. I guess men must breast feed and release this oxytocin too because what I have found is that it's the men who get attached. I think there is a major difference between making love, having sex and fucking. But that's just me. You can do all 3 with someone you love, but they don't all apply to a casual sex partner. You can have a causal sex partner for years depending on location and relationship issues etc, but I've found it best to take what you need and roll out after 6 months, because years later I have dudes trying to "hang out" while I pass them in the street nod, smile and carry on like nothing, because truth be told, I had them for a reason and they fulfilled their purpose.
I have only ever been addicted to one man, and while he is the best I've ever had, it's because I was already madly in love with him for 2 years before we ever had any "relations". Sorry lady, sex is sometimes just that. If you go into a fling type thing knowing that you want more, you better tell the other person or walk away, because sex doesn't make anyone stay, there's always something else. Good sex is a bonus, and when you love someone, sex with them somehow is the best...unless your man really sucks....

4.You're a Liar. You meet a man you like the man the man has an issue like um he's married, you tell the man all you want is fun sex because if you mention the M word he'll no longer call you, but you think if he spends enough time with you one day he'll figure out he can't live without you.
*I don't actually have an issue with this one, because it surely happens. You can hope and pray and throw pennies in a fountain all you want, but if he doesn't want you,....wait a minute you never know he might have some of that oxytocin thing, have him breast feed you and give him an orgasm and you might be married within the week.

5.You're selfish. You need to stop thinking about the fat on your thighs and be like the celebrity moms, go have a baby and the husband will come along after because once you have that kid, husband potential will know you can think about others.
*UM???? Really? See this is the thing that I don't get. A woman has a kid and all of a sudden she doesn't exist as a woman, all she is, is mommy. No wonder I'm not married but dying to be, cause I sure as hell will be telling the kid, this is how we roll. You don't have to sacrifice who you are to be mommy, and wifey, the man doesn't want to marry his mother (well some do, avoid those like the plague) he doesn't want to marry you because you are an unwed mother, he will want to marry you because you are YOU. You forgetting who you are, means you forgot who he married, so don't be surprised when he starts looking elsewhere for someone who reminds him of who you used to be.

6.You're not good enough. This is obvious because you want someone better than you. Better looking, smarter  etc.
*So does this mean I shouldn't want to go to school and get educated, because that obviously means I'm dumb and want to be smart so I can find a smart man who's better than me. Hold up....What's wrong with wanting someone smarter than you, or sexy as hell. Chances are you may think the man is smarter than you, but he might be thinking the same of you in another subject area. That's called BALANCE. I want someone better at taxes and math than me, because I'm crap with that stuff, why should we both be bad at something that will have a big impact on our lives together? Does it mean I'm on a dating website asking to be matched up with Einstein's last living relative? No nimrod, it means I want to be with someone who will challenge me, make me think, keep me entertained. It means I don't want to wake up look at the person next to me and start screaming because I think I'm in a waking nightmare. Men have had the trophy chicks on their arms since (as my friend JSV would say) Jesus was a lad. I think one of us should be pretty, why in the hell not him. Does this mean I think I'm not good enough? No it means I know my limitations and I want a life partner who will balance and enhance where I need it as I will for him.

The woman who wrote the article says she's been married 3 times. Really? You have something to say? My bad it's about every woman wanting to be married, not about them wanting to stay married.

Thursday, 17 February 2011

The Game

Ok, for those of you who don't know, BET has a show called "The Game", it was canceled, it's returned, black folk watch and discuss. It's about a football team, the wives and players and their lives.

The latest episode aired this week, and (thank you facebook) a male friend made a comment, that the character Janay is less 'skanky' than the character Melanie.
Little background; player, Derwin, cheated on his fiance Melanie with football groupie Janay, left Melanie because Janay ended up pregnant and he thought this was what he was "supposed" to do. End of the day he still loved Melanie, and they got back together, and got married, Janay had the baby and they were all playing happy families. Melanie gave the baby a DNA test (yes it was wrong, but it was on a whim, not premeditated) and Janay was furious told Derwin she was gonna take him to court for money, and he decided to try to appease everyone especially himself, lied to his wife and was spending a day a week hanging with the baby momma and kid.

Ok, so he made this comment that Janay is less skanky and Melanie is insecure and jealous. Melanine slept with more people than Derwin (but Janay was a groupie eh, she had her fair share of mens) and Janay is the baby mama.
I asked, why is it that the baby mama gotta always win. First off he cheated on his woman and got the other woman pregnant. The other woman knows how in love he is with his child, and is using that to get back up under him. While his wife has forgiven him, and has accepted the child, the baby will forever be a constant reminder of what he did. Don't get me wrong, this is in no way the child's fault, and once she's accepted the situation I would expect her to treat the child like her own. But it's a slap in the face, and the other woman knows this, the fact remains she will always be the mother of the 1st child. That right there is a big deal. But I'm still trying to understand how he could say Janay is less skanky. Seriously? WTF?
Everything the wife is doing, stems from an insecurity that the man caused. Yet she loves him so she's trying to accept the situation and live with his mistake. Yet he lies in her face and runs off to play house with the same chick trying to wife him up by manipulating the situation and using her child to do it. That is just wrong to me, and SKANKY. Who uses a baby to catch a man? That ish still works?

It was my male friend and another female and i in this little discussion. It was just interesting to see where he was coming from, since she and I (who do not know each other) had pretty much the same thought process. He on the other hand, needs to take a slow boat back to Mars. Love you boo, but uh uh

Just because you're the baby mama, doesn't mean you have rights to the man. ....just sayin