Tuesday, 18 January 2011


The other night, some fake friends of mine took me out in hopes of killing my old ass. Ha, joke's on them I survived!!!

Ok no seriously, I went out with my girls the other night, and while we were at one venue chilling, the ex and his lady walked in. We said our hellos he answered a question for me, I said nothing to his lady, I don't know her. Anyway so it dawned on me that while he was all messed up during and after the breakup, I was correct about something I was trying to explain to him, but he refused to hear it.
I suppose when you're feeling pain, you tend not want to hear stuff. I told him that sometimes people come into your life to do a particular job, and when their work is done they move on. I was trying to explain to him that perhaps I had come into his life at the time to show him that there are other women out there who he can have a meaningful relationship with after all the drama with the last one, and lo and behold he's with this person now, and all sort of happy rumors are milling around. It's not my business, but people keep telling me how happy they seem.....Anyway. Like I was saying, this could be "the one" the forever lover that he might have missed out on had I been emotionally blackmailed into staying in the situation.

On that note I started thinking that when two people are involved and it ends or some roadblock gets in the way and it seems that it's the end of the world, perhaps it isn't. The person who is openly feeling the hurt more will always see it that way for a while. You know they say that bad things happen to point you in another direction or to show you something you might not otherwise see... well the one hurting, or if they both are, they will think that maybe this "lesson" is for them. But what if the "bad" thing happened not to show or teach them something, but the other person? I know sometimes these things work like kevlar, help you dodge a bullet or two. But sometimes it is just a stumbling block, like when you hit the burn wall while doing crunches and situps or other exercise. You hit that wall and think you can't go anymore, but sometimes the effort to do just one more crunch is all you need to get over the threshold. It may not be the right time for this thing to happen, but it doesn't mean that it won't ever happen.

Slightly off topic, people always think you're jealous when you see the ex and his/her new SO. And you know what, sometimes you are jealous, but not for the reasons people assume. Take me for instance. I see him and her and I get a little twinge of *sigh*. It's not that I want him back, trust me, she has nothing I want. It's more like, imagine after all the drama he put me through, all the ish I had to put up with, he seems to have what I want. A relationship with someone I actually love who loves ME back for who I am. I have no idea about the dynamics of their relationship nor do I care, I suppose it hurts that he can have something like that but I'm being held back from having what I want....