Saturday, 23 July 2011

make a statement....

When there's some new celebrity scandal, their publicist and lawyers, mama's and friends all tell them the same thing "make a statement". There's a very good reason for this. The person who says something on the matter, always seems a little less guilty, or remorseful. The public is always inclined to believe what the 'talker' says, or at least wiling to listen. The other person, the one who remains silent, for whatever reason, even if they're the victim, a lot of times comes across as guilty, hiding something, or something along those lines. Most people like to hear the gossip, especially from one of the people involved.

The same can be said of relationships.....

When there's a break-up, the masses are likely to believe the one who's telling the story. He/she did this, they left me without an explanation, they cheat on me, they cursed out my mama, stole my money....the list goes on. Somewhere there's a friend or family member telling the person who the story is being told about "tell your side". because by not talking, by not defending themselves..they are automatically seen as the guilty party.
In my rather humble opinion, I believe that it's nobody's business what is going or has gone on between two people. Because you as the outsider/friend/family member will never actually know what has happened. A relationship should be between 2 people. There are very few people I tell my business to. That is not something that's about to change, because like Chinese whispers, things get twisted from A-Z. I don't feel that a person needs to defend against the story woven, because the people who are important and who love you, know you, those are the only ones who's opinions me. Unless of course you are a politician or celebrity or some such type person. lol.

This 'make a statement' is also important while you're in a relationship. It really is necessary to talk to the person you're with. As much as you love and know your partner, there is always someone out there willing to make up a story or put a fictitious politricks/movie worthy spin on an issue or situation. The securest person in the world will always have a soft spot, an area where an insecurity can get in and grow like an undiagnosed cancer. The woman/man who wants to take your 'place', who wants to make your life a misery because they are miserable and want company to focus on so they don't have to deal with their own drama, will always be more believable if they tell a story over and over and get others to tell it. In a relationship, you need to talk to your SO. Even if you think you shouldn't have to explain, you think this person should know and trust you. But human emotion is not a controllable thing, it doesn't work on logic. And it's not about you, it's about the other person feeling comfortable, you need to talk and reassure and tell the truth at all costs.

Yes I am fully aware that not making a statement, doesn't make someone guilty. I am also aware that it doesn't make them any more innocent. But there are times when a statement needs to be made...choosing the time is the hard part. I'd much rather you tell me the entire truth, even though it might hurt me, than keep it from me and let it fester and bubble and become something incurable..but that's just me

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