I call him Voldermort, you know, as in "he who shall not be named". saying his name out loud, brings on a hurting that I'm not sure I'm in a good enough emotional state to withstand.
I think we all have a Voldermort, it's a blessing and a curse. I say thank you Voldermort, because before you I never knew I could love anyone, to this edge of insanity. When Bruno Mars sings about catching a grenade, I understand, because no matter what you put me thought, I'd still push you out of the way to save you without giving a second thought to my life. Even if you don't deserve it.
It's a curse for the same reason. No one will ever come close to taking me to this edge of insanity. therefore they will never be able to "do it" for me, mentally, physically and emotionally. So I'm sure some decent man is out there, but that decent man is a settle, and I'd rather be alone than be unhappy (because trust me, at some point, 1 month or 10 years into it, "Voldermort you are not", will come rearing it's ugly head and you will be less that happy happy joy joy).
I don't want to hear anyone tell me, that Voldermort doesn't deserve me, I don't want to hear "you're too good for him" he's this and he's that, because at the end of the day, I already know his flaws and faults, you telling me them isn't actually gonna do a damn thing.
You know that joke going around, where the husband bets his wife that she can't make one statement to him that can make him both happy and sad at the same time....and she replies"out of all you're friends you have the biggest penis". That's Voldermort, the only man who could make me happy and sad at the same time.
I usually just write stuff down, or ignore it when it pops into my head at 3am when I can't sleep because some thought of Voldermort wakes me out of my sleep. But hey, this is the technical age, forget Narnia, let's take it to Voldermort.
J.K I am a huge fan, don't sue me or something ok.