Facebook always gives me something to muse and ponder upon.
Someone posted a link to some coverage of the Halle Berry and her baby daddy, the white (French Canadian dude), drama. Anyhow it's being said that he called her a nigress/nigger/niggah, whatever, and that was a big part of why the relationship fell apart. Now they're going through some ugly custody battle for their, as she gushed to Oprah "pretty little baby". A discussion ensued.
One man said that the way he saw it, Halle used dude as a sperm donor and as soon as the baby was born she no longer had use for him, and while everyone is rushing to her defense, why not ask the question "what might be wrong with her, seeing that all her relationships ended nasty". I must say, he held his own with the onslaught of 'you crazys, how dare yous' and other things rained down upon him by a slew of women.
I however share his opinion. I have always thought she seemed a little nutty. Seemed- how something looks not what it is or isn't, or what I believe, I do not know her-. However all this talk about making my beloved Eric cut those sexy dreds (woman you cannot remove a rasta man dreds....where they do that at????)..the hit and run etc ..you have to wonder. Anyway. She's been the common denominator in a few bad relationships, instead of looking at the beautiful actress who won an Oscar for an unnecessary gratuitous sex scene, strip that away, she's a woman who's been in a couple bad break-ups...maybe we should go "hey, maybe it's her"
I don't know mz Berry. I do know this one guy. His wife cheat, they split up, few months later, we dated, few months later I start getting the "orange alert" feeling. Then I left. Few months later he has a new girl, fewer months after that she's wearing a ring and they live together. Now I left, his wife cheat and his mama and friends, say oh what a great guy, how can they do that to him, who do they think they are, they don't know what to do with a good man. What I have learnt is that there are a myriad of reasons why people do things. I don't always agree with the reasoning, but I can understand why, whether it be, a smothered feeling and a need to escape by all means necessary, some latent now coming to the surface, altruistic sensibility, whatever.
When one person is the common factor in a few of these "bad" relationships, maybe the friends and family need to take a step back and look at them without the rosy pink glasses. Being friends with someone is totally different to being 'involved' with someone. People don't always put their business out in the street so someone may seem-the way things look- to be one way, but it's different when you have first hand knowledge of another side that people don't see.
Onto the sperm donation. I think women get to a certain age and either think they need to have a child, because it's expected of them or because they don't have a man and are lonely, sometimes shock horror, just because they actually are ready to take care of and love a baby. Sometimes they have a man, sometimes they don't, sometimes they need to go to Africa, Asia and the Moon to adopt a child because there are no children in need in their backyards.
The desperate to be loved woman, is the one who ends up unhappy because she's hopped into bed/.marriage with the first man to come along and deposit sperm where necessary. She probably doesn't love him but hey, she got a kid and she can now die knowing she used her womb for the greater good.
The women being hounded by parents and friends "when are you gonna get married and have a baby" they too usually end up miserable, because they run headfirst into a situation to escape the questions and judgments, because every woman of a certain age must be married with kids or forever be a hangnail on the big toe of civilization.
Sometimes women just want to have a child and can find no suitable men to have a relationship with but have analyzed a few men and found one to have the best genes to share with their offspring and choose him to donate (sometimes he knows, sometimes he doesn't).
My mother doesn't ask me when I'm having a kid, she has 2 grandkids and she needs to be happy with that. There is only one man, despite drama and whatever, who I would rent my womb to for 10 months (they say it's actually 10). There is only one man I would willingly have a child with. He however is not available, it would seem -how things appear, perhaps not how they are- that he was never really available, but I had ingested the bluepill. So to all you people out there telling me to "wemp up the belly" and looking at me crosseyed when I say there will be no small parasite feeding off me from the inside, GTFOH (get the fuck outta here), you're not walking around swollen for months, squeezing a big headed mini person out of your vah jayjay, feeding, clothing and educating it for life. So either go have your own or leave me be. I'm looking into a toy breed to carry around in my handbag. I can do bad all by myself I do not need a child to love me unconditionally, to have a little person who only knows me as mommy the world, to absolve me of past wrong doing and not judge me. I would love to go half on a baby with you..no not you, him, but like I said, that isn't open for discussion, so hurry up with my godkids all of my loved up friends. PS:I'm very open to being "aunty" "stepmommy" or whatever.
Women, do not get caught up in this idea that we were placed here to breed and serve no useful purpose if we do not. Live your life, if you want to wallow in pain for a while, do it, if you would like some sexercise but aren't interested in fuck buddies or batteries, leave it alone and find something to focus on. I'm trying to focus on getting my sexy back..it's hiding under a layer of fat that keeps inviting friends to join.
Women don't get caught up thinking you have to have a man/woman in your life or you've failed as a human. Unless it's not working out for you on an individual level. Hate to break the news, that the older we get, the less the grown and sexy gene pool gets. Those men either are at the mid life crisis stage, where they need to trophy chick who they need a prescription of viagra/a pacemaker/ coke and booze/a stand in dick to keep up with; have had a bad experience in a few or the last relationship and are jaded, are plain old not looking to settle down type, GAY, or already taken. I wish you all luck.
I'm not looking. I have given up on love and other drugs.
ps: The Mayan people predicted the end of the world....get your groove on people,.