Saturday, 29 January 2011

Smoke without Fire?

I want to talk a little about rumors.

We have all heard them, spread them (yes because just repeating with or without malice is spreading) believed them without proof and not wanted to believe them. Some of us lucky (can you hear the sarcasm) ones have had one or more spread about us.

Now usually where you see smoke, there's a fire, smoldering ember or something of that ilk, lurking behind a bush or in someone's underwear.

Ok, when you hear a rumor, depending on the juiciness factor, you tend to believe it....the same way you tend to blindly believe a loved one when they tell you something.
This could be about the male doctor who wants his female patients to take their shirt off even if they come in with a broken finger. It could be about the authority figure who abuses and misuses their authority especially where sexual favors are concerned. It could be about the Significant Other (SO) who is playing you for a other women/men their CC to use at their will, sleeping with other people when they feel like it and can get it.

I would advise you to look into the actual rumor, I know it's scary sometimes because if they turn out to be true...then that's a big hit to your psyche. But smoke may turn out to be water vapor, steam from a kettle you know, not actual proof that any fire was ever there.
On the other hand, we never really want to believe rumors about people we love, we want to think that maybe it's just jealousy, and a recurring theme just has to do with people picking up on the initial rumor months/years later. But there comes a point where you have to face the fact that there may be a budding pyromaniac closer than you think..

If you find out that the rumor was just that, then be secure, trust and believe at face value and move on with life as though there was nothing rumored to begin with.

If you however find out that you have a firestarter nearby, keep a bucket of water handy and walk away...if you can't, then at least keep in a corner of your mind that this person is a liar, so as to not raise your hopes and expectations of what you can have.

There is another part of the pie chart. The rumor is never dealt with, you never get an actual answer, you never get closure, you never find out if it's water vapor or pyromaniac. In this case, you're on your own, can't help you. Make a decision to walk or to stay. Kinda like those chicks on "Basketball Wives"...we know our men are cheating, maybe, it seems so, but well we like our lifestyle, we love them, they kill spiders for us. You know, make a decision to be disappointed and unfulfilled for life, or be insanely hurt but less likely to double over when your ulcer becomes mega ulcer from stress and unhappiness and insensitivity.

Just saying.......

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