Wednesday, 15 December 2010

smoke and mirrors

We very recently held general elections in my little island. One party was more interested in that transformer known as "smokescreen" rather than facts and issues. I'm not here to talk about elections though, the right party won and we can breathe a little easier. I am thoroughly ashamed of 47% of our people however.

So the party used smoke and mirrors, you know harping on one issue "we don't like him, come don't like him with us". I find it interesting when art imitates life or is it the other way around. Because right now I'm faced with a smokey mirror. I hardly hear anything, but when I do, it's the same issue over and over....

yes, we have established that I did indeed call you dishonest. Because in my humble eyes, withholding a truth that would have a great impact on the lives of all involved is the same as a lie. but it has been established. what i'm not hearing is a simple response to the simple questions i asked. i don't see why they are difficult to answer. the answers might be difficult, they may cause pain, they may bring about anger and hurt and even shame. the answers might not be able to change the situation at hand, but they could put a mind at ease. they could ease some tension. they may not change the situation but they may shed some much needed light on it.

for any Harry Potter fan, at the present i feel as though someone used a deluminator on me.

the light has been taken with no reason no explanation just silence.

smokey mirror. you say i'm dishonest, you think i'm a liar. but no, i didn't lie, i wasn't dishonest...because....

maybe you wanted to have a few months in a bubble, a few months of respite, a few months without it being about the situation...selfish yes, but understandable....

no contact, no conversation, just a brick wall of silence, and that hurts. whether it's a humanitarian act, a clean break will be best for all the wounded, or i can't look you in the eye because i'm ashamed of myself, or i've been dishonest for too many years to mention and if i'm honest now my fear is i will lose you forever....something anything said would be better than silence.

but smokey mirrors.

it feels like you want me to give up but won't tell me to give up. you say i always walk away, but generally i give you an overly honest reason. this is the worst situation we have been in, and on my side it has nothing to do has to do with the withholding.

i will try to make this the last post on this, but seeing that i use this to breathe at times, i can't promise it.

so no, i won't walk away, and i will be here if ever you feel the need to wipe the smoke off the mirror ..i hold no malice, i have no opinions, i just wonder...but seeing that i sent that message and got no reply only to find out later and once again at the hands of the same bearer of information that the last part of the message would never be i wonder about is tainted like my index finger.

did you feel anything everytime you had to drive past my gap?......

on another note, thank you for the other thing, much appreciated. ps: it's not another way to stalk, it was something my mother brought to my attention, and a change of location is very needed, plus it's a big place, and it's not like i'm itching to see the unit.

peace and blessing one and all, happy holidays and hope the new year brings you all much love, happiness and prosperity....(in case you guys don't hear from me in the coming weeks)

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