Wednesday, 1 December 2010

*sigh*

Someone once told me that I'm my own worst enemy. I didn't take it seriously coming from a well known and self proclaimed "man whore". He meant that when it comes to relationships, I have a tendency to never believe the man could feel the same way I do, with the same level of intensity, meaning and honesty. You can see how I would be skeptical to take man whore's word for it.
However recent events coming to light, are proving that man whore might actually be right. Not in the way he was trying to be though, just that I might just be my own worst enemy.


Do any of you have someone in your life. You know the type that you just somehow can't seem to let go for reasons unbeknown to yourself. Maybe you think you've got too much time vested, or it's a first love, you don't think anyone could give you the same intense butterflies, you'd rather not venture out and end up raped, diseased, wondering where his man parts are cause he proclaimed to be a grower but neither showing nor growing is happening.
I have one of those. It's like some strange gravitational pull. We could walk away from each other and years later it will only take one sighting to bring up all the feelings I thought I buried. Thing is, I know this man is no good for me. He can't seem to keep his very lovely man part to himself. From reports near and far, there are at least 3 other women in his life....that I've heard of....who knows how many more exist. I can't get a straight answer, haven't been able to for years, and the one time I did get one, I now question the validity of, because trust has just been pretty much obliterated.
But history has a propensity for repeating itself with vim and vigor. Arguments, and a child and women and hurt feeling, broken heart, puffy eyes from crying, somehow cannot cause a strong enough barrier to stop contact for more than...I think the longest was a year.

isn't there some pill i can take for this condition?

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