Have you ever had a situation where you were good enough for something not for another? I don't mean you are great with numbers and bad with grammar.
From what I gather, the paleness of my skin and the fact that people think I'm not bad looking and some hold me in some sort of esteem, meant that I was good enough to be with, to walk around with, to be shown off like a shiny new trophy, to hopefully be bred to produce lite and rite curly haired babies. However the fact that I had my own voice, opinion and in no way cared to be singing that stupid Destiny's Child song about catering to a man, meant that I had a defect and that defect need to be corrected.
I recently looked at "Madea's family Reunion", hadn't seen it in a while and I was in awe of the mother telling her daughter that she needed to "stop doing whatever it is you're doing to make him angry, then you won't have a problem". I mean hello? Your child is being abused and that's the advice you have. Being abused because she wasn't living up to whatever he considered HIS standards. Look pretty, don't say much, just be the killer accessory to compliment my designer suit.
Ladies, and Mens, (yes I meant to write that ok) back up and walk away as fast as you can without tripping over your joy of escape, if you're in a situation where the abuse is physical, mental or emotional, and trust me, having to be someone else to please your S.O is tantamount to Chinese water torture, at some point the real you and that fake persona you created will come to loggerheads. And like with quicksand, the more you fight against yourself the deeper you sink.
Let me be very clear about something. If you cannot be, or are not allowed to show you true self with the person you're with, then you need not be with that person!