Friday, 4 April 2008


I went out today...they say 'summer' has officially begun.....I doh believe them...I doh truss dem! Anyway it was sunny and bright and I went out in a blazer...but unlike white folk here I will not be fooled by the fake sun and it's fake warmth that disappears once you hit a shadow...I had a sweater and shawl in my big ole bag.

Anyhow I went about my business jumped on a bus only to be told 15 minutes into the journey that the bus wasn't going to Oxford St because of roadworks on Regent St. So I gather they didn't know about these roadworks til then..because I can offer up no other suggestion as to why the bus would falsely advertise where it was going when I jumped on it. Did I mention that the driver (who I was sitting behind) was cruising like it was sunday morning...why.... because he had to watch all women he drove past. Can you do that shit on your own time...people have things to buy.

So i get off in Trafalgar Sq and walk to Regent St.. I was going to the bead store. Yes the bead store...just call me Martha. I ended up spending way more than I lied to myself and said that I would...but my dumb ass also put down something that I need and now I'm here trying to work out how to attach the damn wire to the earring hook without the pack of round wire that I accidentally put down and didn't pick up. I will figure this shit out and I will be rocking my hawt earrings soon.

Will let you know (with pics) how it goes. But I'm overly excited and so I'm going back to my pliers and wires and beads.



Wednesday, 2 April 2008

red tape and backbush

So I went ahead and applied to do a Masters program at some country university.. OK ok it's a good school it's just out in the country where the accents are thicker than bad gravy. I did my application online....only to have some admin email me and ask if I could possibly send them the things I already uploaded on the damn application. WTF is that? This is the most backward country I have ever lived in...and to think I used to complain about Antigua.

Top that off with the letter I got in the mail today from Liz and Charlie's people asking me to send proof that my mother is my mother and my nationality. Now in my f*cking application for this f*cking new status in this f*cking country I included originals (because they insist on it) or my birth certificate and my mother's and our passports. If these Muddass people have lost my shit I will not be at all amused with them and their level of fuckry.

*woosah woosah* let me eat my farine and brown sugar and calm down eh.

I've been thinking that since I went through the whole application for the MA process that I should do it...but then I think I'm being offered a job (mind you the pay will be crap) that seems interesting and will afford me the ''experience'' that all other employers seem to be looking for...not to mention this job is somewhere I want to be. Hell if the UN would hire me to do that field job (phototakeouting and documenting) I would be more than happy to move to NYC (for more reasons than I care to state)..but I know that ain't gonna happen because though if I do say so myself my application essay rocked more than the cradle in the tree top I could never answer the question about seeing and experiencing devastation to their liking...I just haven't been in that situation. Two likkle hurricane does not equate to a famine or military coup. So yeh the job.. as soon as Liz and Charlie's people get their act together whether it's a yay or nay, and once the job is still available I think I'm going to seriously tell boss man I will take it. I'm more than ready to get on up out of here.

Monday, 31 March 2008

Bottom Bitch

I recently came upon this term which to me sounds like the bad title of very a bad gay S&M porn flick. I saw it online and didn’t know what it meant but wasn’t bothered and kept moving. However last night I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine and she brought it up, I think what she sad was something to the effect of ‘bottom bitch just has to deal with it’ to which I replied ‘wtf is this bottom bitch thing?’ Well apparently the bottom bitch is the ‘’constant’’ in a man’s life (while I’m sure this term can be used by females too, straight or gay, the situation that we were speaking of, and the fact that we’re straight means I’m going to be talking about MAN so do not come with to me about double standards or some such crap). I was still slightly confused, so she went on to explain that this ‘’constant’’ is the female that the man will always return to no matter what, that includes a happy marriage, presidency of his housing association, promotion to chief fryer in Mc Donald’s or whatever. This is the chick that the man will always find his way back to for whatever reason.

Now I must be really simple, because I cannot for the life of me fathom the idea of a ‘’constant’’ the only ‘’constant’’ I want in my life is my one and only man. What the hell is wrong with people? If you’ve gone so far as to meet someone, like them enough to get involved with them on a serious level, why on earth do you need some outside woman, skettel, prostitute, fuck buddy ‘’constant’’ et cetera et cetera et cetera? I mean ok, you say it’s about sex right… there’s just stuff you can do with her that you wouldn’t do with wifey..right.. so she’s nothing but a common whore to you, not on the level of wifey but somehow good enough to stick your man parts into because she lets you do it. If whatever you do with her is soo damn depraved that you’d not do it with your wife, maybe you need to be thinking about not having a wifey or not doing whatever you’re doing. Ok so maybe wifey doesn’t do what this chick does, you ever though that maybe if you sat wifey down and explained what you like she might be willing to try it and might even like it? Fine it’s not about sex. This ‘’constant’’ situation now becomes very troubling, because if it’s not ‘just sex’ then obviously you and the chick have some connection on a higher level and maybe you need to make the ‘’constant’’ the wifey.

I don’t know if this ‘’constant’’ thing is bad or good, I suppose depending on the side you’re stuck on it could be either. A single man with a ‘’constant’’ could be kind of understood, there’s some distance between him and her, or other mitigating circumstances that keep them from being apart on a serious level at the present so he dates around but knows that she is the ‘one’ and some day she will be wifey and ‘’constant’’ all in one. But the married, engaged, involved man who turns around and has this female still in his life is just wrong. Sorry that’s just my opinion. I do now want to be someone’s bottom bitch, I don’t want to have a bottom bitch. I just want one man who wants one woman.. ME! Is that some spoilt brat temper tantrum request? Nope. Why does life have to be so damn complex? There are just some things that can be really simple and uncomplicated but somehow in our quest for a soap opera life we over complicate and make drama where it is not needed. You meet, you fall in love, you get together, you live happily ever after or you end the relationship and move on. Yes love doesn’t work like that, there are factors around you that will mess with this simple move from A to B, but just because the factors are there doesn’t mean you have to make them a part of your life. You ignore the irritating person next to you on public transport, you walk past the person in your class/job/family as though you don’t see them, because you and that person don’t get along or hell you just don’t like them, so you pretend they don’t exist. The factors that over complicate love and relationships can be just as easily ignored.

I’m going to be straight up, if I find out that I’m some man’s ‘’constant’’ and he has some woman somewhere but I’m here as the easy fuck, or the person who makes him feel better about himself, but has no intention of ever getting serious with me. I’m walking away. I am a simple simple female. I just want a plain old monogamous me and him (only) relationship. Story done!