Saturday, 16 February 2008


Is the thing I do that aids in killing off my frustration. This while good news for people in my house, is bad news for my hips, thighs and ass. Well I'm a pretty healthy eater, but still. I got sweet potato pudding, fresh from the oven and I'm making a beef stew/soup thing with dasheen, eddoes, among other things and of course the dumplings waiting to go in. I don't care what anyone says, it's bad manners to serve West Indian style soup without dumpling.
So I've got this stupid test to take next weekend and it's a whole load of info and I only learned about it like on thursday night, but I just got the chapters today. A test I am being FORCED (I cannot strees enough)to take.
My sister called me a while ago and the first thing I said to her was 'no I did not kill your mother'. I told her to feel free to send on the care package anyway, and I'll pretend that ten calls a month is all I got.LOL Well I can't get Cheetos here :(
If I'd thought about it when I was young, I probably would have gone to cheffy school. The high pressure of a professional kitchen would probably defeat me, but for a nice little hotel in the Caribbean it could work. But c'est la vie. So I cook not for money, not for fame, but to bribe people to come visit me, and kinda because I love it (hush Voldy, you stir fry cook,lol, I can so cook well). My best friend got me into this from her days of studying here. She'd ask me to come over for the weekend when I'd protest because of the cold and the distance she'd say ''I'll cook''.HA! Now it's the other way, people now call me to ask 'yuh cooking? what yuh cooking? I'm coming over, so you cooking right!'.
Sooooo who's coming over? Cause I'm cooking.

Friday, 15 February 2008

last night.....

There I was thinking my night couldn't get any worse, then what happens? No Bones!! I guess I was so hyped when I saw it in the cable magazine I misread the start date *sigh*. I could do with a bit of good luck right now. A four leafed clover, a rabbit's foot (sorry Bugs). Honestly I don't know what I did to piss off Athena and Zeus,Osiris and Geb or any of the other deities that were around when I lived whatever past lives I may have. But can one of you visit me in a dream and tell me so I can rectify the matter and enjoy a little streak of good luck for a bit?

Thursday, 14 February 2008

Chateau d'If

I'm annoyed, no that's not the word I'm looking for, but it's somewhere in that category. You ever feel as though you have no control over your life and that no one listens to you? Yes fine I know I'm sounding like the spokeschild for clinical depression. You know what, maybe I am. I mean you know you got a serious problem when alcohol isn't tasting good to you anymore. This Bacardi is doing nothing for me whatsoever.
I've even tried drowning myself in a tub of Haagen-Dazs. I don't even like ice cream all that much. So the tub is sitting over there looking at me, trying to guilt me into drinking some more of it's creamy cookies and cream innards. Yes drink, cause that's what it's turned into now, a milkshake. But the inanimate object is easy to ignore and stand up to. It's people I have a problem with, people who guilt me into feeling like I'm being ungrateful, though I never actually asked for their help. Actually I've been staving off their help forever now. So after making many a good point (why do I bother) I have been once again overruled by a succession of fallacies. When you have no power you just have to ask how high when you're told to jump.
So I'm over frustrated, pissed off, fed up and many other things I will not say for surely someone will be trying to refer me to a psychiatric hospital, and I've already got a comfy white jacket thank you.
I feel as though I've been put through a wringer, and it's times like these that make me want to press the send button and have that email, I keep writing then deleting, take a quick leap from my out box to Voldy's inbox. Voldy is the only person who has ever been able to release me from the chains of funk, but I no longer have Voldy. I probably never actually had Voldy, but blissful are the ignorant.
I want out. I seriously want out.
If I were ever to come into a large enough sum of money, I have to admit, I'd relocate to a remote corner of the globe and the only way anyone would hear from me is right here. I'd just disappear, ok first I'd take a page from Eric Cartman ''screw you guys I'm going home''. That sounds like heaven to me right now. Good lord I do have anti-social tendencies.... idiosyncrasy maybe. *sigh*

V-Day (sounds kinda like VD huh)

Right. Something about this day makes women turn into red eyed monsters. Valentinezilla. Me, I'm not interested, It's just another day. The hightlight being that at 9pm tonight the new season of 'Bones' starts. I will be parked comfortably in my bed happily watching Brenan and Boothe avoid the underlying sexual tension between them while trying to solve a case. Oh happy day! And no that ain't sarcasm.

Today can sometimes be make or break for women. Ladies really, if your man isn't the romantic rose petal strewing,sweet nothings whispering, crying during Chick Flicks, kinda guy 364 days of the year, but somehow manages it all today, HE'S FAKING. Honestly, is that what you want? To be lied to? Do you fake it in bed? No probably not, so why accept the male equivalent? You want to be able to brag to friends, strangers, and people you work with that 'my man...' did XYZ for me. Is it really that important? If you feel the need to make a big deal out of his one time flash in the pan effort, surely that says something about your relationshio no?
Don't get me wrong, candlelight, roses and a chocolate fountain is great but I want to feel that desired, loved, wanted and needed all year round, not just because Hallmark makes a big deal about it. Get a grip women get a grip.

So I'm boycotting this the 14th of Feb. I was invited out to *lime with some girlfriends. But I just can't face that crowd of people, even though the soca will drown them out. I'm old now, I'll leave the living to the young folks.

*Lime(ing)- to hang out, chill, spend time with.
not to be confused with Liming( dating, seeing, checking for). Same word, completely different meaning. I shall use them both in a senence

Lime (to chill)
Lime:I going buss a lime wid dem people.
You liming later?

Lime (to date)
Liming: Yeah boy I hear he liming she long time

Wednesday, 13 February 2008


'' Greetings this new age babylon culture..don't worship technology and bow to computer'' is the opening of 'Micro Chip' by Tarrus Riley. Then we have Damien Marley ''smarter than most intelluctual fools weh spend their time pon internet chatroom''. Honestly I have to agree. You join a chatroom and expect to wile away boredom with jokey natter and perhaps a debate on relevant topics. But mainly what you are bombarded with is foolish posts from people who think thay have something to say, young idiots trying to act older and failing miserably, and time wasters who have absolutely nothing to offer the world, and are more like a hangnail on the big toe of civilasation, and let me not forget the I.G's (internet gangstas). I suppose the anonynimity of the internet that turns people into stark raving loonies? I mean ok, so maybe you're a cuckhold, wimp, small d*cked man who pumps up in the gym to have something big on his body to look at, in real life. That doesn't mean you're alter ego ''DAN''needs to make an appearance. You know, the Dotish Ass Negro. This refers to a male or female.Get a grip folks

Tuesday, 12 February 2008


I feel as though I'm singing the Sesame Street song, because once again it's a sunny day.
I was very naughty today :( *hangs head in shame*. As I stated it was a nice sunny day so I took the scenic route and went out for a walk. What was intended to be a healthy bit of exercise turned into a cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake Happy Meal. *SIGH*. Granted it's been like 6 months since I've had any junk food at all and I don't make it a habit. But goodness me. In my defence I was hungry, it was quick and I did walk uphill all the way home. Hopefully it's balanced out.

Last night I spent a lot of time pondering life. Trying to figure out my next move. Do I just pack it all up call the shippers and high tail it back to the sunshine (the real sunshine, that one that tans/burns depending on SPF)? Honestly if it were up to me I'd just pack it in. But even at my age it isn't. I've got a West Indian mother. Need I say more? Voldy used to tell me that me and mommy need to come to a compromise, and she needs to know that I'm a big girl now. Well Voldy is no more so what was said doesn't matter. WRONG. One of the reasons that I get so annoyed with Voldy is that Voldy is usually right about things.
I suppose I would need a source of income. The honeymoon period is over I am no longer ok with not working.It's slightly aggravating actually.

*what's also aggravating is the fact that spell check and picture upload still aren't working for me wtf is up with that????*

I'm not really ready to spend x amount of £££ to gamble on something that may not pan out, but the mommy is, *sighs* so I'm stuck for a bit unless some generous soul wants to sponsor me some of their lottery winnings or offer me a high paying job.
I suppose that I'm just in a melancholy mood again. This is what happens when I'm left alone with my thoughts. Voldy creeps in, I start thinking about everything and stressing about what I have no control over in my life; which is pretty much all of it.
At least it was a good hair day. I will never understand for the life of me what is the fascination men seem to have with curly hair. But whatever floats your boat

Monday, 11 February 2008

extra lbs

I am very lazy when it comes to exercise. I will procrastinate and procrastinate from procrastinating. But when I finally haul my ass out of bed and get into it, I will stick to it.So I worked out today, *sigh* I hate havig this extra weight. It means no buying of clothes :(. It does however mean no store fitting room mirrors. So there's a plus. I put on my soca and i get on my step machine and off I go. I just don't know how long it's going to take before I can feel confident enough to wear short shorts or a bikini. *Bigger Sigh* Maybe I'll be in shape to get to Trinidad next year for naked mas. I call it naked mas ok, it's just some nipple covers and sequins.
So off I go to find something to eat, cause I've just realised I've not actually eaten today.So please pray, wish, hope or whatever your religion dictates for me, that I will be able to drop the extra lbs and be sexified again. Preferably sometime soon. Thanks in advance :).

Sunday, 10 February 2008

Lazy Sunday

Well my mother's gone to her home and I should be happy. But I'm not, I still don't have the house to myself. Dammit I need to win the lottery, so I could buy a small island and build on it. I'm anti social at best. Yes I hear you all saying I'm lying. While I have been known to be quite the party animal in my youthical days (ok sometimes in my old age too)I like and need my space. My sister swears I have a mild form of OCD. She may be right, I'm not Adrian Monk, but dammit when you move something put it back exactly how I left it. It seriously upsets me. My cousin is here until the end of March. *Why me lord* He is like a damn fowl, goes to bed early and gets up at the crack of dawn. When I finally roll out of bed and get to the kitchen to make a cup of tea (cause he drink out all me Milo)I'm standing there like an ass for a few seconds until I realise he didn't plug the kettle back in. Sounds trivial doesn't it, but it annoys me, and why couldn't he just put it back in the exact position that I left it in? I notice the 2 mm that it's out of place by. I not even shame.
I'm in a bad mood today, I need something and I can't get it and it's bothering me. Why today I haven't the foggiest, but I wish this gnawing in my tummy would stop. Though that could just be the worms demanding feeding.
And I'm homesick. Right now I'd just love to be on my back porch feeling the Caribbean breeze rock my hammock back and forth.
I gotta say that my mood improved greatly when I got an unexpected e-mail from my best friend. If I were home it'd be a text or call, but I'll take the e-mail and be happy.
So I'm off to drown the worms or something along those lines. Ciao!