Thursday, 1 May 2008

Little old lady down the hall

Ever feel the need to just scream? *woosah* Anyway...

There's this little old lady down the hall who like to come visit my aunt. I mean she comes in makes herself a up of tea (a cup has been designated as hers) uses the bathroom etc..makes herself at home on the couch 'having a laugh' at Mrs Bucket and so on.
The other day she comes by (well I think it was her..when I'm home alone and not expecting anyone you could knock on my door until you're blue in the face, unless I'm in a good mood I'm not moving from where I am) and I didn't answer and as per usual I got 'bitch' through the letterbox. Yes little old lady will cuss at you. Anyhow later in the day my aunt was home and was caught by little old lady. She came in.. I was upstairs but have come to recognise her scent (what?? Didn't I mention that she smells like a cross between wet diaper, astray and month old sweat--not because little old lady legs can't get to the bathroom in time, not because she smokes (she doesn't), not because she can't afford water and soap, oh no little old lady just doesn't bathe..she is British you know). Little old lady brings a 'lawyer letter' to show my aunt. It states that her sister has died and has left £350,000 to be shared equally between her and her 2 brothers. Well great right.. at least she can be sure that she can survive the rest of her life in ease. Well little old lady was walking past the 'flat' and I hear her telling someone 'I'm getting more that you said (insert name of my aunt here) told me, I'm getting more that you said (name) told me'. What didn't I mention little old lady repeats everything at least once?
When I hear that little old lady was found dead somewhere and her account was cleaned out.. I will not be surprised at all.

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