Friday, 25 April 2008

turnaround

This topic was covered by a friend in her FaceBook notes a few weeks back...but it's always coming up. Just the other night a girlfriend and I were chatting about it..so I thought it only fitting to write about it.

Men....while it is nice to find one of you who is able to openly speak about his feelings and show emotion..as Morgan heritage say ''when he feels no shame crying in pain''....but please remember that you are men. At the end of the day I want someone to take care of me. I don't mean I need a man to give me a monthly allowance that will pay bills and get my hair and nails did. I mean I need someone who I feel safe with..not that I expect him to do free jumping or cliff diving but I don't particularly want to feel that I'll have to defend both of us if a brawl breaks out where we happen to be.

It just seems that the social roles of men and women have done a 180 in recent years. And I for one would really prefer it not to get out of hand like it did in that episode of South Park when all the men started watching Queer Eye and became 'metro'. I'm all for a man to keep his nails neat and clean (hello no dirty fingers are coming near my lady parts..I don't appreciate raggedy nails or teeth cutting up my business), but um when you have more products in the bathroom than I do..I think maybe you have a problem.

However when I said roles seemed reversed I'm more talking about sexual and social. For example (this is for the person who said I tell great stories...lol) I noticed that men my age and above seem to have a penchant for young girls (not as in underage but you know them the 'young' ones who are just happy to be bought a 2 piece and fries and get 'drive out' in fancy car...and increasingly the ones who see the older man as a stepping stone to social acceptance) so I though 'hey self what's good for the gander'. Could someone have told me to keep my old self in my little corner and behave? NO..because the girlfriends who knew that the little imp was sniffing under my frock were more interested in using me as a guinea pig than making me see sense. I did resist the imp for a long time..but then this person who shall remain nameless..just happened to piss me off royally one night and the imp just conveniently happened to be at hand..so he 'got a bligh'. I should have known what I was letting myself in for from the moment the words 'I'm coming home with you right' left his lips along with an oddly unsure look. What MAN in his right mind has to ask that (yes yes date rape cases and c*ck teasers..but seriously)??? I was too um 'riled up' to listen to the little voice in my head saying 'no no no..just go home and sleep'. Anyway long story short he's a nice little imp but he's got 4 things very wrong with him.
1. Missionary
2.Backshot
3.SILENCE
4.He's a bit of a little whiny bitch really

Look, I'm happy with 1 & 2 if done correctly but if that's all you have in your repertoire then Houston we have a (no pun intended) f*ucking problem. As for 3 um hello?? While yes you should be able to know that what you're doing is going well..uphill or downhill..a little encouragement isn't a whole lot to ask. How the hell are you going to just do some s*it and be quiet all the way through it????? As for 4. well that's a story in itself....

I decided (WHY) that maybe the imp was just *rolls eyes* intimidated since he seemed to be rather smitten with me....so let's give him another chance shall we (WHY). One night I was out with some people and I'd had a couple Thug Passions..well I lie, I asked the chick for a Thug Passion and she looked confused (first clue) I told her Henney and Alize she asked 'you wah dem together' with another confused look (second clue) then proceeded to pour me equal measures of both and charge me for both instead of one drink *sighs*. Suffice to say the drink was incredibly strong and I was made to drink both (I'd ordered one for my friend). Do you see where I'm going here? I had many a strong drink that night and while waiting for my friend's fellah to get the vehicle I said to her 'I feel like calling Voldy' (Voldy is who Voldy is and that's that) she was able to talk me out of it (alcohol is a bitch assed trick) and instead I texted the imp. The text [and I quote] I've been drinking and I'm in the mood to harass someone.I'll be home in about 5 minutes[end of quote]. I got a very good night's sleep. The imp apparently wasn't all too pleased that I only TEXT him instead of calling him. WTF? Fellahs tell me...a woman (you single she single you find she more than adequately attractive) texts you and basically says if you come to my house you are guaranteed serious p*ssy...and you say 'no thanks you hurt my feelings you should have called'. What the muddahsc*nt?

See what I mean now. I could see a woman (yes I know you men have feelings too) wringing her hands and sighing that he only wants one thing etc etc etc. But a man? It's not like I blanked him in public..heck he's a nice imp and I have no issue liming with him..but we didn't sit down and decide I like you, you like me lewe be boyfren and gyalfren nuh. Yow...the love of my life doesn't complain when i text him filth and requests..he actually texts me too. So why this imp feel that he should get special treatment? Anyone who knows me knows I'm more of a texter than a caller. Steups.
But this is the way I find things going these days. Women seem to be the ones initiating the FB relationship..I'll call you when I need to be broken off a lil sum sum then you can take your ass back to your house. I'm not against the take charge woman heck I'm happy to say...come fix me up thanks. But when grown assed men start withholding their man parts because they see you talking to another man and get jealous even though they were all 'oh let's not get serious'..something's gotta be done.

for the curious the imp was well over the legal age..just younger than me.

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