I went out to a formal banquet on saturday night.I wasn't overly impressed at being placed at the top table but wah yuh go do. It was for a lodge..you know them they Masons or Carpenters..Star of Hope..Foresters etc. My cousin is the head of his chapter which is quite impressive given his age..he's the youngest president they've ever had. Anyway I don't particularly like the people in it. His mother is a member of two lodges and one is a little stingy the other I love..some of the ladies I don't care for but most are lovely older ladies who make sure and pack a container of food for me if they have any informal function that I don't attend...y'all know the way to my heart is through my belly...or well my feet..cause ya'll know I love me some shoes.
Anyway these people in this lodge have an attitude like they are better than everyone..which is odd since my poor easy going cousin is so not like that...So not only are they stuffy and hoity toity but they have some really uncouth guests. There's a guest speaker..wasn't a boring or long talk..and you're going to be having a big old chat during..not even quiet. Then again what did I expect from a female dressed like that. One in a too tight for her , very cheap looking black thing, the front thigh length the back calf length...fine for a club not for a formal dinner. I'm not Trinny and Susanna and this is not 'What Not To Wear' but jeeze..didn't she have a mirror. Then again dem does feel dey go find husband by these things.
On to the creep. This one man, the secretary of the lodge..decided that he was going to take a shine to me. So all night he was making some out of place comment. He came around with a bottle of El Dorado (15) and I commented that it seemed the factory was having issues because for the past 6 months there hasn't been any coming into the UK....this was his reply ''I know I bought 3 boxes and I brought one box here so if you want any there's only one place left for you to get it'...I'm like WTF. Now ya'll know my mouth ain't have no back door.However since it was my cousin's first run in he chair I decided to not make any friendly chat, cut him off nicely and let it slide. That obviously wasn't the way to go. A little later they were passing out presents..it was a 'ladies night' and all females received a little token...somehow he took it upon himself to be the one to distribute to our table..there were 2 ladies next to me and I was on the end..he gives them theirs, gets to me, pulls it back and says 'yours is at my house' by this time I'm speechless eh. Did I mention he leaning down to talk to me wid cigarette breath. UGH!!!! Later on in the night the music come on and people found their way to the likkle dance floor... I found my way back to my seat or up and down my table chatting to me family dem. Dude returns coming to ask me to dance I'm like um no thanks..he wants to know why I'm like because I'm enjoying my time relaxing and chatting..he says 'ok I'll give you a 5 minute grace period'.. WTF. Now I had already complained to my cousin who spoke to him.. obviously not hard enough.. Oh did I forget to mention this cretin is a big ole married man and his wife is sitting with him a table over from us....and he presented her with a huge bouquet of flowers in front of everyone...Now wtf..your wife right there and you still trying strokes on people girl chile. CREEP!