Monday, 31 March 2008

Bottom Bitch

I recently came upon this term which to me sounds like the bad title of very a bad gay S&M porn flick. I saw it online and didn’t know what it meant but wasn’t bothered and kept moving. However last night I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine and she brought it up, I think what she sad was something to the effect of ‘bottom bitch just has to deal with it’ to which I replied ‘wtf is this bottom bitch thing?’ Well apparently the bottom bitch is the ‘’constant’’ in a man’s life (while I’m sure this term can be used by females too, straight or gay, the situation that we were speaking of, and the fact that we’re straight means I’m going to be talking about MAN so do not come with to me about double standards or some such crap). I was still slightly confused, so she went on to explain that this ‘’constant’’ is the female that the man will always return to no matter what, that includes a happy marriage, presidency of his housing association, promotion to chief fryer in Mc Donald’s or whatever. This is the chick that the man will always find his way back to for whatever reason.

Now I must be really simple, because I cannot for the life of me fathom the idea of a ‘’constant’’ the only ‘’constant’’ I want in my life is my one and only man. What the hell is wrong with people? If you’ve gone so far as to meet someone, like them enough to get involved with them on a serious level, why on earth do you need some outside woman, skettel, prostitute, fuck buddy ‘’constant’’ et cetera et cetera et cetera? I mean ok, you say it’s about sex right… there’s just stuff you can do with her that you wouldn’t do with wifey..right.. so she’s nothing but a common whore to you, not on the level of wifey but somehow good enough to stick your man parts into because she lets you do it. If whatever you do with her is soo damn depraved that you’d not do it with your wife, maybe you need to be thinking about not having a wifey or not doing whatever you’re doing. Ok so maybe wifey doesn’t do what this chick does, you ever though that maybe if you sat wifey down and explained what you like she might be willing to try it and might even like it? Fine it’s not about sex. This ‘’constant’’ situation now becomes very troubling, because if it’s not ‘just sex’ then obviously you and the chick have some connection on a higher level and maybe you need to make the ‘’constant’’ the wifey.

I don’t know if this ‘’constant’’ thing is bad or good, I suppose depending on the side you’re stuck on it could be either. A single man with a ‘’constant’’ could be kind of understood, there’s some distance between him and her, or other mitigating circumstances that keep them from being apart on a serious level at the present so he dates around but knows that she is the ‘one’ and some day she will be wifey and ‘’constant’’ all in one. But the married, engaged, involved man who turns around and has this female still in his life is just wrong. Sorry that’s just my opinion. I do now want to be someone’s bottom bitch, I don’t want to have a bottom bitch. I just want one man who wants one woman.. ME! Is that some spoilt brat temper tantrum request? Nope. Why does life have to be so damn complex? There are just some things that can be really simple and uncomplicated but somehow in our quest for a soap opera life we over complicate and make drama where it is not needed. You meet, you fall in love, you get together, you live happily ever after or you end the relationship and move on. Yes love doesn’t work like that, there are factors around you that will mess with this simple move from A to B, but just because the factors are there doesn’t mean you have to make them a part of your life. You ignore the irritating person next to you on public transport, you walk past the person in your class/job/family as though you don’t see them, because you and that person don’t get along or hell you just don’t like them, so you pretend they don’t exist. The factors that over complicate love and relationships can be just as easily ignored.

I’m going to be straight up, if I find out that I’m some man’s ‘’constant’’ and he has some woman somewhere but I’m here as the easy fuck, or the person who makes him feel better about himself, but has no intention of ever getting serious with me. I’m walking away. I am a simple simple female. I just want a plain old monogamous me and him (only) relationship. Story done!

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