Monday, 25 February 2008

Being Unnecessarily Nice.....

Random people (and by that I mean menfolk) on the street will sometimes say to me ''smile nuh babyluv''. I don't know why they are all confusing me with this babyluv person, but they say everyone has a doppelganger out there, she must be mine. I walk briskly about my business, I am West Indian by BIRTH, we are not designed nor structured for cold weather. The last thing on my mind is smiling at random people.
But there are circumstances where one does tend to nod and smile at people, these unnecessary acts of niceness are what lead to trouble. Case in point, I have lived in the same place for over 10 years, and I like to walk, this means the people who also live around the area, have become familiar to me and me to them.
There you go walking down the road, and after seeing the same people for a while you start smiling, nodding, or even saying good morning/evening/night/day (circle whichever is appropriate). let me tell you the result of my unnecessary acts of niceness.
There is this man I would pass everyday on my way to or from college, he was pleasant enough and non life threatening looking, after a while I started saying hello to flat top (that is what I called him in my head, because he has that old man flat top Afro type haircut). Some how flat top got it into his head that my unnecessary act of niceness was his cue to long stop me one day. I need to set the scene:
Biting London wind, in the dead of winter, flat top's fake leather coat is flapping in the wind, turning him into the worst living impersonation of 'Shaft' since Samuel L Jackson. It's still dark, too early in the morning to even speak about, I have a book laden backpack and I am not exactly smiling.
OK, I know you can see where this is headed, why didn't he???
Flat top long stops me, and I stop, he proceedes to ask me how I am. I am now very cagey and without making it obvious I am trying to figure my easiest escape route if he tries anything funny. Even though I've got a quizzical look on my face he has obviously taken this as flirtation and tops it all off by telling me that we should have a drink sometime or would it be possible for him to take me to dinner. Um?
I am already annoyed that this man who I have only been polite to (because well I'm human, and one day if I'm being mugged I'd like for someone to say 'hey let's help ,she says hello to me') has broken the sacred vow of silence , now he's coming at me with a horrific Nigerian (if you're offended, well tough, there are many accents I cannot abide, and Nigerian is one of them, followed closely by Bajan and Welsh)accent telling me we should go have a drink. Heavy bag, nyampy surely in my eye, half awake and cold, and this fool breaks the code to harass me for a date?
I know you people really aren't asking what I said to him.... let us just say that he now passes me straight on the road, and pretends (much to my joy) that he doesn't see me.

let us all stop being unnecessarily nice to each other. I am not condoning violence, just niceness. Thank you, you can go now.

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